Jody - cow face tattoo showed up in the morning. offerred me two ciggerettes. Before that I think I went to cranbourne park had cleared up my face. I was sleeping at the toilet block at crabounre senior club. last night there was this dancing class going on there. I wanted some hot water. I went in and there was a susie who helped me by directing to the kitchen and get boiling hot water. So I had and tried to sleep. But couldn't sleep. I started listening to my cold playlist and sspent some with it. It wasn't that cold to be honest. the numbers said its 11 according Siri. But felt warm.
I woke and started serching for nicotine cause y'all should understand the urge. I had vouchers from ann but girls from blocked me from getting it. maybe the reason for the morning one to block me was I asked for red. The second try was at when I was frankston. I sh0t the girl in the head. Didn't mean to do it.
In the morning after I've had my coffee and the ciggies Jody gave me I came to Square entrance of CP to smoke up where I met Hoffa(Arnold) He asked me whether I found a place. I said no cause I didn't. He said come on and pointed in the sky. I said have a good day he saidokay.
Also last evening I requested for a ciggie from a g who said that she is working at happy doughnut or some doughnut place where I honestly don't remember the name. And asked her to teach me to how to ask for a ciggie and she told me to say can i pinch a ciggertte which didn't work.
Last night before I slept the guy who gave me 5 and who made a kfc chicken a buccket popped up. He first appeared on the first day I posted the story of bat man scene where alfred says master wayne you have not taken any meals today.
"So last night he appeared on a scooter. everytime i see a guy on reminds me of scooter braun.
you prolly think my mnager is scooter braun but my manager is 20 hoes with budda-con"
The reason I went to frankston today was get my clothes laundered as told by Ann. but I think some of them were washed others were just dried. No mad at anyone cause even that getting done for free is a big thing for me cause of the situation that im in.
so there I met connie, jackie and mich. Connie gave me a new jacket (blue) and said that it is my colour. the way I see blue is noble. which reminded of the song by tory kelly dear no one. they were from orangesky or orangedoor group. were very kind. also jackie was like very motivational. I think she mightve been a cheer lady when she was young. like very aggressive kinda motivation. Mich and I did some money talks about my past where the two girls left. they were girls but like old. Age is just a number as I feel. Had a good convo. Also frankston poeple felt like more simple and shit. like more kind. with the services.
After laundry I had a chat with a guy who did prison who offered me several ciggies. he was waitiing to get food by community. He told me to belive in jesus. tbh for me all the religions are stories and theres a set of people whos endorsing their stories. and within each others deep inside the war is always there. its never gonna end.
At the moment religion for me is like set of behavioroual organzation routings who was set by a wise guy like me. ee.
thats. enough. I was so effin sad and depressed and feeling like a girl according to the culture I grew up with (where they think if a boy cries he is a lesbian). and jess showed up. so I was okay. she didn't just show up. I contaced the library and asked for her to come to work. Sorry jess if I disturbed your peace. couldn;t help myself. (also have to mention when in frankston jackie corrected this saying no one should ever trust a man who doesn't cry.) I don't know whats right, whats wrong. who to trust, whome not to trust. Thinking forward and doing things.
Also day after tomorrow is murder day pitches.
